Random Thoughts: Blogception

Three blogs in two weeks? By Thor's hammer, what's gotten into me? I've no idea either, but I think you should read what I have offered, lest our friendship be in doubt! Just kidding, I really write this for me, and I'm flattered if anyone reads it. So flattered, in fact, I'm blushing right now. You should see me, all red-cheeked and meek-eyed (whatever that means). Enough rambling, Joey, on with the blog!

—It feels like there's a mention of George Lucas or Star Wars at least once per blog. Unfortunately, it's usually negative. In this case, it's because of George and his delusions:

The controversy over who shot first, Greedo or Han Solo, in Episode IV, what I did was try to clean up the confusion, but obviously it upset people because they wanted Solo [who seemed to be the one who shot first in the original] to be a cold-blooded killer, but he actually isn’t. It had been done in all close-ups and it was confusing about who did what to whom. I put a little wider shot in there that made it clear that Greedo is the one who shot first, but everyone wanted to think that Han shot first, because they wanted to think that he actually just gunned him down.

This lovely snippet, not taken out of context to make George Lucas seem like he's willfully denying how things actually played out when Star Wars was released in 1977, is from an interview with The Hollywood Reporter. George, we get it, you own Star Wars. But it wasn't a solo endeavor. It wasn't just your story that made it to the big screen. Film, as they say, is collaborative. Until you're writer, producer, and director. You've either lost your mind and believe your own lies, or you've grown so powerful you feel like you can actually rewrite cinematic history. In 1977, ONE shot rang out between Han and Greedo. There was no "shooting first." It was A shot. No confusion existed. Han shot Greedo. Why isn't that good enough? Why aren't these movies, pieces of film history, good enough for you?

—Creatively, the end of the world intrigues me. Especially if it's impending and everyone on the planet knows their doom is looming. I wrote a story about it years ago (was college really years ago at this point?), which I think is my very best piece of writing. People are tricky things, and when you remove societal restraints, any real reason to maintain order, what sort of chaos would things devolve into? Seeking a Friend for the End of the World explores that with Steve Carrell and Keira Knightley at the forefront. This trailer is good, people. Genuinely funny moments, tinged with an underlying melancholy. If this is the tone throughout the film, it'll be great. So enjoy:



—Since basically everyone I've ever been best friends with (omg besties!) was born within the last week and a half, I'd like to take this time to say happy 25th birthdays to Zac, Lauren, Chad, Jessie, Richard, and Melissa. Even though I may not be in great contact with some (read: most) of you right now, I love you all in a great many ways! As your elder by a month, I can tell you that 25 isn't much different from 24, but definitely better than 22 and 23. Happy birthday, comrades!

—And a happy birthday to both President Abraham Lincoln (Vampire Hunter) and Charles Darwin, that dastardly fellow who introduced us to the theory of evolution. Remember, fair readers, though it may be called a theory, there's a distinct difference between a scientific theory, like evolution, which has been questioned and tested, tried and tested, and tested some more, and a regular theory, like George Lucas was murdered by Terminators back in the early '90s and replaced by a T-1000-like replacement, which is just a whole lot of conjecture.

—Dan Aykroyd has seemingly lost his mind when it comes to Ghostbusters 3. For example, he wants to coax Rick Moranis, who played Louis Tully, out of acting retirement for the film, saying, "None of us would want to do the movie without him as a participant." But in the next sentence, we're told Mr. Aykroyd said that Peter Venkman, embodied by Bill Murray perfectly in Ghostbusters and horribly exaggerated in Ghostbusters 2, could just be played by another actor. I get what Aykroyd was saying: He really wants Louis Tully back. Not that they'd stop making the movie if Moranis said no. But to follow that up with saying whoever's playing Venkman can be subject to change? Mayhaps Dan should reevaluate this whole enterprise.

—Unfortunately for me, I've been missing a lot of The Daily Show. In fact, I can't remember the last time I watched a full episode. That sucks for me. Luckily, though, I have friends who sometimes post videos of Jon Stewart and the writers of the show doing work. Here's such a case, for your boring Thursday at work:

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
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Random Thoughts: The Bloggening

What up, foolios? This week has seen a lot in the way of superhero film news. Less news and more trailers/commercials. We got a geektastic look at The Avengers during the Super Bowl, and following Sony Pictures showing some footage from The Amazing Spider-Man in select theaters, we got a new trailer. It's kick @$$ (see? I was serious about cutting down on cursing!) so trust that we'll be talking about it. Who's "we"? The royal we, of course! I'm the king of this blog, or rather, we're the king of this blog, and we'll use whatever pronouns we choose (I feel like I've said this before...)!

—You know what happens on April 1st, besides a lot of terribly awesome pranks? This:



Without a doubt, I am most interested in Daenerys Stormborn's journey. Her story intrigued and had the fullest arc of all the many told during Season 1. I'm about to get started on the first book, and I imagine I'll finish it in about a year, considering the density.

—I know I'm well behind the times when it comes it music. I avoid the radio, especially up here, as it's all dance/club remixes. New music takes a while to filter down to me (much like trickle-down economics, except with filter-down music, I eventually get something!). As such, I just saw LMFAO's video for Party Rock Anthem. For those few of us who haven't seen it, it's a zombie parody, or at least starts off as such. Frakking appropriate, if you ask me. When I first heard the song months ago, it annoyed me. Its overplayed nature is a bother, but that can be said of anything on the radio. Now, I find myself humming it. It's damned infectious! And that chubby, dancing hipster makes me laugh. A lot. Tell me a line like "I'm running through these hoes like Drain-o," doesn't make you crack a smile. So go watch the video and have some fun.

—The Phantom Menace, in 3D, will hit theaters on Friday. I've been struggling with whether or not I'll go see it, or the other prequels, and ultimately, the Original Trilogy. I've never seen the OT on the big screen. When the Special Editions were released in 1997, they were sold out. Now, I have the chance to see them all. I won't. Like the Blu-rays, I'm passing. Reason after reason tumble through the vast space between my ears, but you've heard them all (and not just from me). Ultimately, I'm tired of George Lucas pretending Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi were ever unedited, untouched by new special effects, creative choices, and new dialogue. I'm tired of giving my money to an empire that has an agenda I don't support. So I won't.

—This summer will be huge for superhero films. Will it cause the market for comic book movies to collapse under the sheer weight of Spider-Man, the Avengers, and Batman? Maybe. But probably not. There's still too much money to be made from them. I mean look at all these characters in one setting:



The term "nerdgasm" gets thrown around a lot. So does "geekgasm." Finally getting a shot of Thor, Cap, Iron Man, and Hulk together, alongside Black Widow and Hawkeye? That's a nerdgasm. One of those things that up until now, we've only seen drawn or animated. Make no mistake, this is a big moment for comic book readers.

—I'm working out again. I've been eating well and healthily since last October, I just kind of...stopped working out. Motivation remains my biggest issue, but I'd like to drop a bit so I'm looking all sexy and fine for the topless beaches in Spain. Oh yeah, have I mentioned I'll be taking a summer vacation in the Mediterranean?

—In the world of good news, Prop 8 was ruled unconstitutional. Mostly because it is but also because you can't hide behind bigotry and prejudice and the bible and make laws to make people who's lifestyles you disagree with second-rate citizens. Let's make something clear, too. Just because 7 million Californians voted for Prop 8 does not make it right. That doesn't mean it is any less unconstitutional. It just means there are 7 million Californians who need to look at themselves and ask why they feel they're better than homosexual couples. Did this ruling "ignore the will of the people?" Sure did, and it was right to do so. Sometimes, people are wrong. Like One Million Moms.

—It's getting to be that time when summer movies start kicking up their advertising (are you listening, The Dark Knight Rises?!). You already know that, though, because I put that whole bit about The Avengers before this (it is literally right there. You can probably still see it). Now it's Spidey's turn to show us something new:



I'm hesitant about the CGI. You need it to convincingly pull off a Spider-Man movie, but those moments at the end seemed a bit...unrefined. Keep in mind the movie won't be out until July so there's about 5 months for polishing to continue. That gripe out of the way, I liked what we got. The Lizard was on display here, but wasn't overexposed, which is a great way to go. On the other hand, we pretty much know what the movie is about and I wish the trailer gave us less of the story. The Hobbit and Prometheus trailers are my prime examples of how big blockbusters are advertised. I'm still excited about this movie, just less enthused about the revealing nature of the trailer.

—Last year around this time, I mentioned in an Extended Thoughts how I no longer understand the hatred so many Carolina fans bestow upon Duke and vice versa. People get nasty over this rivalry and it boggles me. There's a difference between a good natured "Go to hell Dook" and whatever Duke fans say about Carolina, and getting personal and rude to opposing fans. Some people are dickbags though, and if I can contradict myself, they earn any nastiness sent their way. Let's clarify things, shall we? You didn't play in the game. You weren't a part of the coaching staff. You didn't have a hand in the victory or loss. You are a fan, whether alum or not. Relax, and enjoy the game for what it is: college athletes busting their asses for their fellow students and fans while the folks who run the NCAA make loads of money off them. When you find yourself sputtering out facebook statuses that seek to demean and belittle those on the other side of the rivalry, maybe take a step back and reevaluate what the hell you're doing. Be good to each other. Also, suck it, Carolina.

—Excellent follow-up news from the excellent announcement in October that Arrested Development was coming back: The entire cast will be back. It was in doubt only so far as scheduling, I believe. Every actor involved has only ever spoken of their love and desire to keep going with the series. Jason Bateman has stated the plan, or hope, is to film this summer for a release early 2013.

Random Thoughts: Building Better Blogs

Happy (month+ late) new year! Is "new year" supposed to be capitalized? I think it is, but I now disagree with that policy. And since this is my blog, my rules rule, unless you all hate them in which case I'm sorry and let's talk about it, OK? Moving on, it's randoming time (any Power Rangers fans? Not the new stuff, but the dino-zords and ninja-zords. Let's hang out and watch the movie. I still have it on VHS)!

—For the first time ever, I've watched some Clint Eastwood westerns. Namely, I've watched the Man with No Name Trilogy. I had no idea A Fistful of Dollars was a remake/adaptation/retelling of Akira Kurosawa's excellent Yojimbo. That said, I enjoyed For a Few Dollars More more, as it was fresher to my eyes. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly was a little less excellent than the second entry to me. And maybe I'm an idiot, but it was confusing to see Lee van Cleef playing a totally different character. Either way, thoroughly enjoyed them. Excellent movies, and I can't help but feel that were X-Men movies made in the '70s, Mr. Eastwood would've been spot-on as Wolverine.

—Community also made itself more beloved to me after I realized the two-part end of season 2 was named for those two above movies (A Fistful of Paintballs and For a Few Paintballs More). Of course, that also makes it that much sadder than the jerkwads at NBC have still not given us a date for the "return" of the best comedy (not) on TV. Maybe instead of relying on an archaic ratings system, they should take into account things like DVR and Hulu or nbc.com viewings. But then they'd get a more accurate rating, and wouldn't be able to use ratings as an excuse to keep intelligent programming off my television! /rant

—The big news recently? The Susan G. Komen for the Cure foundation pulled funding from Planned Parenthood. Why, you ask? Possibly because of political pressure. See, Planned Parenthood has been under attack by conservative politicians for at least a year now. Anyone who supports Planned Parenthood supports abortion, is the general idea behind a lot of the attacks. Which is absurd. But either way, Komen pulled funding back in December. Then people went nuts this week. And rightly so. After much rabble-rousing, Komen changed their policy on funding organizations under investigation. But their image has been hurt in a very big way. Hopefully they recover.

—So I probably should've seen Warrior in theater so it could've gotten my money. Hell of a movie that wasn't a cliché fighting/sports movie by any means. The writing was superb, and the characters were all captivating, disturbed, and sympathetic. I disliked and rooted for Brendon, Tommy, and Paddy. It was shockingly sad and hard to watch at some points. And that last fight was done with serious care. This has been added to my Amazon Wish List, believe it!

—Unfortunately, the lady and I have had to cancel our trip to Austin, TX during SXSW this March. The reasoning is simple: my older sister is getting married in August. We'll need to save up money (and vacation time) to go. Why? Because it's in Spain. But not just Spain, amigos, no no. It'll be in Mallorca. Never heard of it? Well, it's an island. In the Mediterranean. Stop and let that sink in. As neither of us have been to Europe before, we're going to take a full two weeks and see Italy, some more of Spain and maybe France, too. Frakking stoked, to say the least.

—I got myself a LinkedIn (which means you'll see a reduction in the amount of cursing I'll do here) because it struck me that I have no connections in the field(s) I want to be in. Like me and/or my writing? Be a connection! Or share a connection with me. So long as it isn't like the tendril-connection-thing from Avatar. I think that was supposed to be sex without being sex. Or did they have actual sex? I can't remember. All I know is a porn parody exists, and I want nothing to do with it.

—Bamboozle is getting headlined by Foo Fighters and blink-182 (and Bon Jovi, but I'm not into them the way I was back in 7th grade. Which is funny because I'm still into blink the way I was in 7th grade) this year. And it's in New Jersey, which means I'll be going on the Saturday. Tickets are $89, but for an all day music festival that will also be featuring Jimmy Eat World and The All-American Rejects, I'm game. It'll be fun and I think you should come and join me.

—And now, for the end! I leave you with food for thought from the always hilarious, often thought provoking, Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal:

Random Thoughts: Year Ender, Part III: The Saga Continues (and Ends!)

Oh, what up readers? Cool, cool. Me? Oh, I'm chillin', draped in my Batman blanket (I seriously am). It's the final day/afternoon/night (depending on when I actually post this) of 2011 and time for me to end this charade of Year Ender blogs. I can't guarantee any of those lists I did last year or mentioned just 2 weeks ago, but I promise I'll instead give you tidbits about my life you don't care about, things that entertain me, and things that bother me. So pretty standard Random Thoughts, then. Except it's about to be our last year on earth, 2012! Which makes this all the more thrilling.

—Thursday night, Ridley Scott released the first teaser for his next movie, Prometheus, which, let's be honest, is a prequel of sorts to his 1979 masterpiece, Alien. You know the drill (but I'll repeat it anyways): Watch it so we can discuss it:



Wow, is this tinged with elements of the Alien trailer. The title, the beats, that giant chair, the horse-shoe ship...It all looks grandiose. It looks like it belongs in the world of the xenomorph. It doesn't feel nearly as claustrophobic as the Alien trailer, but instead more open. Which would make sense, as in Alien, the threat was inside, while in Prometheus, it may well be from outside. After this trailer (and working my way through the Alien Anthology on blu-ray), I'm keeping an eye on this one, with hopes it turns out better than Robin Hood.

—Well, I made the switch to Sprint last week. Got myself an iPhone 4S and my own cell plan/bill. It's about time, frankly. I'm like a small child, diving into this world of smartphones. The simplest things make me giddy. Words with Friends sucks, because "qi" is not a word and I refuse to accept that any of these words should count. So if I'm taking forever to respond to your game, it's because I'm being petulant about it. Other than that, and the far-too-often-occurrence of the phone forgetting I'm authenticated, this thing rocks. Oh, the future. So crazy.

—Since work has decided to treat us like high schoolers during "training," I've decided to act like a high schooler and ignore the "training" and read instead. I blew through The Hunger Games on Wednesday and Thursday, and have started book two, Catching Fire. I definitely enjoyed it, as it was a captivating, easy read. My one complaint is that a lot of the descriptions felt more like the author, Suzanne Collins, telling me how everything looks than Katniss seeing all of this for the first time. Which I'm willing to forgive because first-person present is a bitch to write in. And Catching Fire already seems better in that regard. I still question the naiveté of Katniss, since she seems an incredibly observant girl in the woods. I want to know what happens next, which is something I've only been getting from TV lately.

—Speaking of TV (not that again), NBC can suck it. Community, regardless of its ratings, is one of the best comedies on the boobtube. Put them on a hiatus for Chelsea fucking Handler? Really? Really? REALLY?! I just...I don't understand. This season has been a little back-and-forth from my eyes, but it's also provided some of the best of the series in Remedial Chaos Theory (who wouldn't love Evil Troy and Evil Abed?) and Regional Holiday Music (I love spoofs, kinda hate on Glee a lot now, and a horror Christmas story? Heck yes). This show grabbed me by my cajones two years ago and hasn't let up for 2 and a half seasons. Everything about it rocks. Support it however you can, friends, because it may well go the way of Firefly, Arrested Development, and the freshly cancelled and forever awesome Bored to Death.

—For those of you I'm friends with on facebook, you saw that I lost a dear companion right before Christmas:

It's a cliché, but they really don't make them like they used to. That Game Boy lasted twenty-two years. My first generation Xbox 360 lasted...four? Five? That's a badass piece of gaming history I don't intend on tossing out, even if it is gone. Worst of all, I'd just bought a few games on ebay and was so very excited to play them. For the curious, they're two Jurassic Park games I never got the chance to play as a child. Now I'm a child with money, so it only makes sense that I'd spend it on childish things. 

—Wondering what movies I loved this year? Me too! I don't remember all the movies I saw, but I know only a few stuck out. Maybe more than a few, but we'll see. Of what I've seen, the best of the year can be nothing but Drive. Words cannot express how much I loved this movie. Such a shock, as it was marketed as another heisty, driving type of movie. What we got was a noir, plain and simple. A long look at a character and his interactions. Brillant.


—Rango was also a ton of fun. Excellent animation, a fun, if classic, story, and great voice acting. For all the hate it may garner, Fast Five was good, too. It wasn't a racing movie as much as it was a heist/action movie. It delivered and managed to not take itself too seriously.


—Hugo was the sort of film you want to see again and again, but probably sans 3D. I had a bad headache by the end of the movie, which was a first for me and 3D. That kept me from fully loving it, but there was a lot to appreciate: it was a child's story, but at no point did it feel childish. As a hater of children in movies, I realized it was the lack of respect for children in films I hate. In Hugo's case, the children were treated with the utmost respect and I didn't think twice about it.

—What music did I like this year? blink-182's Neighborhoods. "Ghost on the Dance Floor" gets me excited and pumped up (I put it on my cardio mix). Florence + The Machine's Ceremonials has some amazing pieces of music on there. Absolutely worth a listen. So is Drive's soundtrack, now that I think about it. I listened to and enjoyed a lot of Johnny Cash's American Recordings albums. The man only got better as he aged.

—Remember how I told you I was in the middle of reading Catching Fire? Well, between the time I wrote that and now, I finished it. My criticisms stand: the descriptions don't impress me and either does Katniss's obliviousness. This was definitely a stronger book, but it felt much more like a piece of a story than a stand-alone. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, I just wish it didn't end as it did, relying on the reader to get Mockingjay to have a complete tale. Still worth checking out.

—Brock Lesnar retired from the UFC. He had a short career there, with more ups and downs than most athletes see in a lifetime. He went from UFC Heavyweight Champion to getting diagnosed with a nasty bit of diverticulitis, to pummeling opponents in no time to getting pummeled in no time. Let the pro wrestling fans among us (myself included) begin speculating on a potential return to the WWE.

—I got my hair flat-iron straightened today. It feels weird. Really strange...like it lacks volume. I don't know that I like it, but I don't think I dislike it, either. My hair is an odd thing for me: I love it long, and want it under a bit of control, but don't want to do anything to it. Doesn't really make sense, does it? Either way, I've entered a new chapter in my hairs existence, and we'll see how it goes.

—Sooooo, what are you guys doing tonight? Something baller, I hope. Me? I'm heading to a classy place with some classy folk to drink all night and eat delicious food. Even my little sister will be there! Unfortunately, I've gone and screwed up the trimming of my beard (I blame the trimmer), so I'm going to have to do something to distract from it. Maybe face paint. Probably nipple clamps. We'll see. Sometimes, dressing to the nines, getting shitty, and distracting from a poorly trimmed beard is just what you have to do. And whatever you do, be safe and have fun. I expect all of you to make it to the new year, if only so we can face the impending Mayan apocalypse together.

I don't think there's anything else I wanted to mention. As such, enjoy tonight, tomorrow, and forever on until I blog again!

Random Thoughts: Year Ender, Part II: The Fire Rises

Welcome back to my year end celebration! It really isn't so much a celebration as much as it is a bunch of blogs in rapid succession. And there really isn't much tying them together, except for the "Part I" or "Part II" in the title. Heck, there may be a "Part III" but I bet it's still only loosely connected to the first two (aside from my raving wit, charming sarcasm, and undeniable good looks). Get on with it, I hear you exclaim, and so I shall! (Oh, and if you've just come for talk about The Dark Knight Rises and The Hobbit trailers, just skip down past the clip from The Daily Show.)

—Last week, in a shameless, cowardly act, Congress passed the NDAA, the National Defense Authorization Act, which has a few provisions causing a bit of unrest. What provisions, you ask? Sections 1021 and 1022, which make it a-OK to detain anyone, including American citizens (why the big stink over Americans and not anyone else? Because! That's why!), without trial, indefinitely. IF they get themselves caught as part of a group associated with, or maybe might've supported terrorism. We don't get specifics here, which is the scariest part. I'm not one for conspiracies, but we've seen a metric shit-ton of liberties taken away since 9/11. This has happened under both Presidents Bush and Obama. Who'd have thought that Barack would have as bad a record on civil liberties as Dubya? For more info on the NDAA, check this out and read up on it yourself (always, always, ALWAYS research!).

—To continue with a bit of negativity (I want to get it out early), a television show, All-American Muslim, has come under fire from the supremely bigoted group, Florida Family Association. Lowe's pulled advertising, and more recently, so has Kayak. You see, Muslims are evil and poisoning the rest of 'Murica. Bet you didn't know that (unless you watch FOX News). The AV Club has a good write-up about it, but Jon Stewart and The Daily Show crew really said it best:

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—And for my last politically-tinged bit, we have this letter from America's port truck drivers. See, last week, the Occupy movement occupied Seattle's ports amongst many others. They shutdown business, essentially. The letter is an incredible read that puts on display the underhanded, disturbing, disgusting, profits-first/people-last, mentality of, at the very least, those companies in control of shipping. It shouldn't come as a surprise, because hey, if you can take advantage of people who need a job and can't afford to be unemployed or on unemployment, why not? That's the free market, baby, that's capitalism. No, excuse me, that's corporatism. When those corporations hold the same rights as you and me? I say bullshit. And good on the truck drivers AND the Occupy movement!

—Now that all of that is out of the way, let's get onto the juicy, movie tidbits! First up? Of course, Batman! Where would this blog be without Batman? Rotting in Arkham Asylum, most likely. So, what happened with Bats, besides that prologue? How about the release of the trailer? Watch it now because I'll be diving deep into it:



Let me say up front I feel that this is much more of an extended teaser than a full-on trailer. Maybe my expectations were a bit high for the first trailer (how couldn't they be after this from 4 years ago?).

And again, fair warning: What I say here may be spoilers. I don't know, because I've kept myself as in the dark as possible regarding this movie. It's really all just speculation.

Our old pal, Bruce Wayne, has grey hairs. More importantly than that, he's using a cane in a lot of his scenes (a lot but not all). You all know what Bane did to Batman in the comics? He broke the Batman's back. I imagine one might need a cane after that.

Is there an Occupy Gotham? Selina Kyle seems to be implying a revolution against the rich, in an incredibly sultry, awesome delivery. I can't wait to see more of her.

The football field could stand some polishing. I'm not worried about it right now. Bane's voice doesn't bother me either, as I haven't had much problem understanding him, but I get the criticisms.

Bane's one single line in the trailer: "When Gotham is...ashes, you have my permission to die." Bad. Ass. Intentional or not, I love that his mask, if you squint, resembles the luchadore mask he's known for in the comics. And it's also an inversion of Batman's mask: mouth covered, face mostly revealed.

What is that stair room? At first I thought the Batcave. Then I thought flashbacks to Bruce's training with the League of Shadows, but it can't be, because he's sporting greys. So now I have no idea.

I fully intend on going much further in depth in a later post, which will include the prologue.

—And lastly (for this post, anyways), Tuesday saw the premiere of the first trailer for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Take a gander!



Now, tell me you didn't get chills when you heard Sméagol's voice. Wonderful tease there, especially with the addition of The Ring's theme. This is exactly the sort of trailer I love to see: characters introduced, a taste of the plot ("I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure..."), and some serious foreboding. And how good was it to see Gandalf the Grey again? He's easily my favorite character from the movies and was sorely missed in the latter parts of Lord of the Rings. I'm feeling good about Martin Freeman as young Bilbo, especially since, when not watching the trailer, I had trouble distinguishing the transition from Ian Holm and to Mr. Freeman. As an unabashed nerd who just received the Extended Edition LotR trilogy on Blu-Ray, a year is too far.

—Well, this wraps up Part II of my neverending Year Ender! I hope you've enjoyed it, as there will be more to come after the holidays but before the new year. I know for sure I'll be talking about Ridley Scott's debut teaser for his Alien prequel, Prometheus, and I can see a mention of the late Christopher Hitchens. What else have I got? I don't know! I'll surprise you!

Until next time, Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, Winter Solstice, etc., etc., and so on and so forth!

Random Thoughts: Year Ender, Part I

After a lengthy, unexplainable absence, I'm back! Complete with Random Thoughts, too, in case you were sick without them. If so, please see a doctor. There are side effects, but I'd rather not get into them here. That said, let's get into Random Thoughts:

—The marketing of my pet project with British up-and-comer Christopher Nolan, The Dark Knight Rises, has finally moved into second gear with poster number dos:

Let's take a moment to discuss the badassery of this, shall we? First of all, it's badass. Incredibly so. The shattered cowl goes right along with the comic book tale of Bane, the Bat-Breaker. It also reemphasizes this will be the final piece of Nolan's Bat-trilogy (as if the teaser trailer wasn't enough). But it offers something beyond the teaser's text ("Every Legend Has an End," "The Epic Conclusion..."): that shattered cowl. Is this Batman's end, too?

—I'm not sure how long the smartphone has existed, but I'll finally have one this Christmas: the iPhone 4S. What am I most looking forward to, you (didn't) ask? Siri. And hopefully the ability to rename her Jarvis and get her to speak with a male English accent. Also, the ability to grow a goatee and be a billionaire playboy with an ass-kicking iron suit. That'd be the ideal iPhone package.

—No Shave November has transitioned into Don't Stop December. I'm at nearly two months with my beard; I started with a completely shaved face back in October. I'm pretty much OK with it. My only problem? When I wear my hair down, everyone calls me Jesus. Instead of explaining that if Jesus existed, he'd have been brown all around, I'm going to start replying, "Yes, my child?" and ask for your love, devotion, and souls.

—Speaking of Jesus Christo, did you guys see Rick Perry's "Strong" ad? I'm not going to link to it here, but here's the transcript of the 30-second commercial:

I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.As president, I’ll end Obama’s war on religion. And I’ll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage. Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again.

Do I need to point out the ridiculous bigotry on display here, the absurd, revisionist view that America was founded as a Christian nation when it clearly was not, or can we all just sit back and laugh at the insanity that is Rick Perry? I almost feel bad for the Republican party. They have no one likable enough, smart enough, or charismatic enough to come close to beating President Obama (I'm not counting Ron Paul among them since he's a Libertarian in Republican clothing).

—Appropriately enough, here's Jesus' response to Rick Perry:

Jesus Responds to Rick Perry's "Strong" Ad from DC Pierson      

Should any of Jesus' claims about Rick Perry frighten or disturb you, I encourage you to research Rick Perry and the execution of not just the mentally handicapped, but also of the potentially innocent. You won't have to search too hard.

—You all didn't think I was done writing about The Dark Knight Rises, did you? Of course I wasn't! Because last week, Christopher Nolan and wife/producer Emma Thomas (both of whom I could've reached out and touched on set) showed the 6/7 minute prologue to the film to select filmmakers and film critics (there will also be a free early showing Tuesday night in select IMAX theaters). The response is, as expected, incredibly positive, with one consistent criticism: Bane's voice. Turns out, he's hard to understand (I think this is a theme for the Nolan Batman movies). Hopefully Mr. Nolan hears this criticism (unless it's a point to make Bane hard to hear) and fixes this before release in July. Or before the trailer (hopefully later this month).

—The lady and I just finished watching season 1 of Game of Thrones, or as we've called it, Incest of Thrones, Game of Incest, Incest Thrones, and Awesome. Now, I tend to be the nerdy, geeky one in the relationship, so I wasn't expecting her to really get into it too much. That said, I'd like to share my favorite of the texts I received from her while I was at work and she was watching it: "OMG if you watch 8 you can go to bed, but if you watch 9 you HAVE to watch 10!" Needless to say, if you haven't watched the show, get to it. We'll be reading the books soon, so one day, I'll tell you about them.

—My old home state is stupid and cruel. This is very clearly not a helpful situation. What does killing these breeds accomplish? Nothing. Because the people who train those types of dogs to be vicious and mean will be able to do that with any dog. And what happens when a more cuddly dog starts to pick up that reputation? The problem is not the dogs, it's the people raising and training them. It's sickening.

—But to end on a positive note, and give a big middle finger to Cumberland County, a pit bull saved a woman and her toddler from a potentially violent mugging. In case you're too lazy and/or scared to click the link, a mother and child were leaving a playground when a man with a knife approached her. This dog came out of no where and started growling and baring its teeth at this tool bag, who, like the superstitious and cowardly lot he is, ran off. The lady didn't know the dog, but it stayed with her until the cops came. If no one claims the dog, she plans on adopting it. Awesome.

—I have plenty more to say, and so I will, but in Part II. It'll definitely have more Batman. Maybe I'll have some of those Year End Lists people love. Maybe it'll be more topical, featuring the absurdity of President Obama and Congress passing the NDAA. Who knows?! Well, I do, but soon you will too!

Random Thoughts: The "Proud To Be An American" Edition

Amigos! I bring to you a special edition of Random Thoughts, the 'Murican edition! Make no mistake, this will be snarky, sarcastic, and in its own way, patriotic. Because what says patriot more than sitting at a desk, typing at a computer made by children in the third world (huzzah Apple!)?

—The 99% movement, or Occupy Wall Street, or Occupy America, or whatever you want to call it, is really being put to the test. In the last few days and weeks, we've seen raids on the tent cities in Oakland, SoCal, Portland, and earlier this week, in New York City. Despite a general lack of coverage (or shitty, biased coverage when there is) on mainstream news channels, the Occupy movement is growing. Seriously, no city is too small for it. Last week, while visiting friends in Raleigh, NC, we stumbled upon the Occupy Raleigh protests. They're everywhere and that's exciting. It's this sort of demonstration that excites me, much like when Madison, WI was occupied by citizens tired of their corrupt governor and officials. Folks are finally remembering their first amendment rights and finding that freedom of speech, freedom to peaceably assemble, isn't quite so simple when the 1% is ordering parks evicted, SWAT teams to raid encampments, and forcing hundreds, if not thousands, to leave their personal belongings and property behind to be trashed (which is exactly what happened early Tuesday morning at Wall Street).

—I'm sure I'll come back around to the protests, but here's another little something worth paying attention to: Mind Reading: What We Can Learn From the Dutch About Teen Sex. I've mentioned in the past America's over-reactions to sex in media, while being a-OK with violence, and this article speaks to that (well, to the sex, not the violence). Sex is such a taboo, parents won't/can't/don't talk to their kids about it openly and teenage pregnancies are through the roof. Is it really that much of a surprise when "abstinence only" education is in place? Or when Sex Ed is boycotted by religious groups? We have a youth that is being told to believe sex is something they can't have, that's dangerous, so of course they want it. Of course they're going to dive into it. And they're doing it without education, without understanding it. The longer that goes on, the longer we're going to see huge numbers of teenage pregnancies and abortions and STDs amongst those of us just entering sexual maturity. Sex shouldn't be a taboo. It should be respected and discussed, with younger-than-me folks. Because gorram it, they are going to get down and dirty regardless. May as well make it so they aren't ashamed, embarrassed, and uneducated about it.

—To get someone else's take on the Occupy protests, let's turn to comic book legend, Frank Miller:

"“Occupy” is nothing but a pack of louts, thieves, and rapists, an unruly mob, fed by Woodstock-era nostalgia and putrid false righteousness."

 I highly recommend you take a gander at the entire rant, because it's absurd. More than anything, I feel bad for Mr. Miller, whose fame exists because of the rapists and louts he's deriding. There's no denying the man was talented. He did things with Batman that genuinely revolutionized the character. Same with Daredevil. His runs on those series' are among the best in the business. But, much like Alan Moore, Frank Miller has gone nuts. He sounds paranoid and a good bit like the ever-present talking heads from The Dark Knight Returns. I don't know where he's been getting his information about the protests (I imagine FOX), but he's totally unaware that some of the protestors themselves are veterans, whether from Iraq and Afghanistan or Vietnam, Korea, and World War II. The man deserves all the negative attention he gets from this. Hopefully it'll keep him from writing another All-Star Batman & Robin.

—You all remember how Bank of America was going to start charging their members a monthly fee to use debit cards? Well, they dropped that plan. But mostly because they didn't need the money. Turns out, they've been getting it directly from the most well-off among us: the unemployed! Apparently, 41 states (that's out of 50, for those keeping count) have deals in place with major banks when it comes to allowing the unemployed to collect their benefits. Said deals allow the banks to charge a ridiculous amount for citizens to withdraw their benefits. Very classy, very stand-up work from some of the nation's largest banks. Nothing really screams 'Murica to me more than corporate greed, screwing the citizens, and big banks and governments in bed together.

—I don't know what to make of American Horror Story. My problem right now is that I'm expecting sense, logic, and consistency. This show is pulpy and over-the-top. The sooner I make amends with that and accept what it is, not what it could be (I have the same problem with the Star Wars prequels), I'm sure I'll enjoy it more. Are any of you watching it? What do you all think of it?

—Here's a great read a friend of mine on thefacebook shared during the week. It's by the former chief of police in Seattle, Norm Stamper, and he's examining the paramilitarizing (that is not a word) of the American police force and how that affected his response to the World Trade Organization protests in the '90s to the police response now, with Occupy Wall Street. He makes a plethora of great points about not just how police are responding, but why they are responding in this way. Mr. Stamper isn't the only former policeman unhappy with how things are playing out, and how the police are being played and portrayed: Retired Captain Ray Lewis of Philadelphia found himself in a pair of handcuffs for his own civil disobedience. There's also World War II veteran, Murray Gittelman, who also protested the Vietnam war. In Oakland, there's ex-marine Scott Olsen, who was hospitalized after police in Oakland fired either a tear gas canister or a rubber bullet that struck him in the head. My point? These protestors aren't the dirty, jobless hippies our wonderful media has been portraying them as. This is a group of people, all ages, races, occupations, and backgrounds, coming together because they recognize a broken system. Whether you agree or disagree with them, if you're reading this blog, odds are you're part of the 99% and they're fighting for you. I don't want to preach about this, so I'll leave you with this (and kudos to whomever created it, anonymous internet!):