Episode V: The Writing Bug Strikes Back

Since 1977, nerds have argued about Star Wars. I'd daresay your regular, non-obsessive folks, too. Lucas’ revisions and the entire PT have provided ample ammunition for discussions: Did Han shoot first? Why did the Empire decide to rebuild the Death Star, but bigger? Was Darth Vader an emo bitch, or a whiny brat? Why does Obi-Wan tell Luke he hasn’t gone by Obi-Wan since before Luke was born when he was clearly still answering to Obi-Wan AFTER the birth of Luke? Why Jar Jar? But what’s rarely debated is The Empire Strikes Back’s (ESB) stature as the pinnacle of the Star Wars franchise. It's more exciting, expands the universe, adds character depth, and advances the story by at least 12 parsecs. It does everything a stand-alone film should do, but does it better because of its advantage as a sequel.

An aside on sequels: Sometimes they're good, sometimes they're bad. For every Spider-Man 2, Godfather, Part II, The Dark Knight, we have a Basic Instinct II, Transformers II, or the second Bush presidency. The second sequel, however, seems to follow a universal rule of near-complete suckage: TMNT: Turtles in Time, Jurassic Park III, Godfather, Part III, Blade: Trinity, Spider-Man 3. There are definitely enjoyable 3-quels: The Last Crusade, Return of the Jedi, Back to the Future, Part III, but I would never say they're the best of their respective series. Editor's Note: David aptly recognized Toy Story 3 as a third film that may, in fact, be better than its predecessors. I think it is. Watch the garbage disposal scene and try not to weep. And, just to keep things from getting too comfortable, there's the occasional great franchise opener: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Iron Man. Point is, just because it's a sequel does not mean it will take it's rightful place. Just ask Attack of the Clones. 

George Lucas, in a rare moment of clarity, didn't want to direct this. He's gone on record a number of times discussing his dislike of directing, so he sought out an old professor: Irvin Kershner. This move might've been the best decision made in regards to Star Wars, besides greenlighting it. Following close behind was the decision to bring on Lawrence Kasdan to write the script. Kasdan, for those who don't know, wrote Raiders of the Lost Ark. I will contend that George Lucas is a damn fine idea man. He just can't write well. Kasdan can, so when you put the two of them together, you get something stellar. But Joey, what about Return of the Jedi? Hold your horses, kid! That's up after this. Stay focused! So what we have is a director who likes directing, a writer who likes writing, and an idea man who likes idea manning. They're like the Planeteers, and ESB is Captain Planet. 

Now, what ANH did for setting, ESB did for character. Luke and R2 have their own arc, far removed from the Rebellion and friends. Han, Leia, Chewie, and 3PO's situation hits rock bottom, and then burrows down into liquid-hot magma. New characters pop-up who impact the story in irreparable ways: Yoda, The Emperor, Boba Fett, and everyone's favorite space pimp/Cloud City administrator/former-owner of the Millennium Falcon, Lando Calrissian. These four do as much in the mythos as the ANH crew. That's no small task. Yoda has an entrance on the opposite side of the spectrum as Darth Vader. Small, unassuming, and playful, he sneaks into Luke's camp on Dagobah and "befriends" him and R2. A short while later, we learn Yoda is the last living Jedi Master and the one who will train Luke. Thankfully, he's underexposed in the OT, giving him a mysterious aura. His odd speech pattern gives an extra umph to his sayings, of which there are many: "Wars not make one great," "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter," and his most famous, "No! Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try." Yoda is a do-er, too. Right after saying that to Luke, he lifts Luke's X-Wing completely out of the swamp and onto solid ground. Holy crap. Talk about mind blown. Even more than Vader Force choking people left and right in this movie, Yoda picking up the X-Wing made the Force tangible. Now it was more than blocking shots while blind-folded or hearing Obi-Wan's voice.

We also got a brief view of Emperor Palpatine. Depending on when you saw the movie, you either saw a woman with chimpanzee eyes superimposed over hers, or you so Ian McDiarmid is really terrible make-up. The conversation changes, too, depending on the year. But what stands out, what matters, remains the same: The Son of Skywalker exists. It's here we get our first hint at Vader's identity; instead of agreeing that the boy should be killed, Vader suggests turning him to the dark side. Ever an opportunist, Palpatine jumps on board, and the stage is set. Luke Skywalker is wanted alive by the Empire.

Boba Fett has the honor as one of the most beloved side-characters in Star Wars. Of course, that means George Lucas ruined him in the PT. But for 20+ years, Boba's legacy grew and grew, and he had some pretty cool stories. To think, it all started with the bounty Jabba put out on Han Solo. Remember that from ANH? It was the reason Han took the money and split before the attack on the Death Star. I guess after helping murder millions of Imperials, he didn't find the time to head back to Tatooine and pay off his old boss. Which meant the bounty was still in place when Vader called together a ton of bounty hunters to find the Millennium Falcon. Turns out Boba was the best of the best: He out-smarted Han, probably got paid by the Empire, and collected the bounty. I think he had about 3 or 4 lines in the entire movie (a key, silence is, to creating a badass). Han might've had a chance though, if it wasn't for the betrayal of his former friend, Lando.

Lando Calrissian is the first black character in Star Wars. And he betrays one of the most beloved characters. He may as well have been straight out of a ‘70s blaxploitation…Oh. Well, nevermind. Truth is, despite this back-stabbery, Lando's too charming and too awesome not to like. He turns on the Empire the second Vader is out of sight and nearly gets Han rescued from Fett. Even cooler than that? Lando used to own the Millennium Falcon. Backstory, history, and informed characters? It's like they're real people!

I said before, our heroes go through some harsh times—Han, Leia, Chewie, and 3PO in particular. In their suffering, though, we get some phenomenal moments: Han and Leia’s kiss is one of those scenes that does everything right. From building tension, to Han's charm, to Leia's toughness, to 3PO lacking any semblance of tact. Well-written and well-executed. Marvelous work, made even better by the teasing and goading from earlier in the movie. That's just the tip of the ice berg: One of Han’s best moments in the entire OT, is his reaction Vader sitting at the table. Han shoots first. The man opens fire on the baddest baddie in the galaxy. That’s the type of guy you want on your side. There’s also the infamous profession of love, which has a great backstory that speaks to the abilities of Harrison Ford and Kershner: Take after take, Ford was saying the line as written, which was, “I love you, too,” or “I love you.” Kershner wasn’t happy about any of the takes, and finally told Ford to say what comes naturally. Next thing we know, classic moment. Less classic but more comedic, 3PO gets blown to pieces and Chewie puts him back together. But only kind of: The top-half of 3PO is complete, and Chewie wears him like a droid backpack. Less comedic and more sad is the moment Han and Chewie share right before Han is put in carbon freeze. A tender moment between literal partners in crime.

And then there’s Luke on Dagobah. I’ve been criticized for calling this slow and, blasphemous as it might be, boring. It's all made by Yoda, without whom, Luke is just whining about not going to the Toshi station again. I jest, but Luke comes off as bitchy every now and then. Of course, that makes sense narratively: Luke still doesn't "get" what he's doing. Not until his confrontation with Vader. He even gets a preview of it when he goes into the cave. It took me a while to fully comprehend this scene, to be honest. When I got old enough to think about it, man, did I think about it. When Luke asks what's inside, Yoda's answer couldn't be more ominous: "Only what you take with you." Damn homie. Damn.

You can't talk about ESB without talking about the ginormous twist. I'm not entirely sure if I've spoiled it yet, but if I haven't, spoilers abound!

Darth Vader, for all his faults, lacks finesse. It's obvious he went into Cloud City without any sort of plan beyond "Freeze Luke." Maybe he panicked a bit when he sliced off Luke's hand, and just kind of blurted out that they're related. Because there are better ways to have that conversation. It doesn't involve forced amputation or throwing oneself from a high tower. I mean, Vader offered Leia, Han, and Chewie a meal! And he didn't have anything to say to them! But he couldn't extend the same courtesy to his son? I think he just got excited because right after telling Luke he's Anakin Skywalker, he starts blabbering about ruling the galaxy as father and son. Not the best time, pops. But it's not all on Vader. Luke could've reacted in a much more mature way. Crying? Jumping away from his problems? Luke needs to man up. Have a conversation with dear old dad before making rash decisions. My only real nitpick about this scene is the loss of Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber. I always felt something should've been made of the fact that Luke's first lightsaber, formerly his father's, was lost. Then again, my heart broke when the DeLorean was destroyed in BTTF 3, so maybe I'm too attached to movie gadgets.

Bam! Another one in the history books. Or internet logs. I'm not sure where this is contained, for official purposes, but I know it's somewhere. In a few more days, we'll get to the exciting conclusion of the Star Wars!